yeah i’ll admit it’d be nice, to have someone who’ll meet me on friday nights when the week’s shit is finally over, without permission or reminder. someone who’ll just be there the whole time, till the (less than) two days pass, as the cycle starts again.
man, chbosky can write.
there is no fire. if there is or was, i can’t feel it’s burn.
things happen and don’t, and i expect something to be screaming inside. then i’m either deaf or dumb.
gone was the time, i was beside the flame. tickled and seared by it’s dancing presence.
it’s a distant memory, a faded picture. silent, colourless and senseless.
eyes, mind closed. there is no fire.
fucking strain ow ow
deprived of wings and choice,
like a phoenix on her deathbed,
never have i felt so alive,
spirit steeped of purpose,
as she flutters, struggling
for her last breath before
the draining thirst to strive
and live, live more than ever
if there’s one thing i’ve learnt so far. there is a fuckload of time in one day. the world grants you so much of it, everyday to do shit.
and i know that life has taken a few seriously large buckets of crap and dumped it on your life. but you know what you want to do, you know who you want to be and for fuck sake you have so much time to do shit, and change everythinggg you wanna change.
I like being alone, but I hate the feeling of being lonely. When you’re alone, you have time for yourself. Your thoughts finally catch up to you. You set your mind on things and everything is just clearer. Nothing’s bothering you and everything just feels right for once. When you feel lonely, you feel as if no one’s there for you. It feels like no one understands you or is willing to listen. It feels like you’re screaming in a crowded room, yet not one person hears you.