in black & white

okay it’ll be easier if you just pretend that i’m not typing this out; that all this stayed in my head.

everything’s slower than usual, the speed i talk, the time i take to hear things and for them to register. everything. and aside from really being weird-feeling, it scares the hell out of me. because like aside from not being able to run normally right now, i don’t like being unable to think properly. yah, i feel like a literal retard, in mental patient terms, derogatory or whatever i think it’s a a safe way to desribe what i am right now. so anyway, i can’t stand this feeling where everything’s so slow. and yes, it’s not like thinking went way faster, but now absolutely everything is so fucking… slow. it’s annoying, it’s scary and obviously i’m so damn insecure because i keep on thinking that i’m behaving weirdly, or wrongly or something. call it whatever you like, but i’m totally mindfucked right now and what with the amount of work i have to catch up. i don’t even have the same brain to use, oh and the fact that both the doctor and parents are trying to slow me down because oh well my head will go back to normal faster that way. I HOPE THEY’RE RIGHT. they better be. oh i need to be my usual self.

plus plus plus! napha is this week. so i think i did just fail it. awesome. i haven’t been very vulgar lately, but recently all i can think is, “fuck fuck fuck what the fuck is going on”.

put your arm above my head,
keep me warm, keep me safe,
because everything’s falling down.

why is it that i only start working when i’m this far down?

dear cloud.
things aren’t going well.
please advise.

feedfuzzynow:

orangecowsgomoo:

feedfuzzynow:

wtf is going on?!?! why does it seem like everyone around me is suddenly getting into relationships?!?!

roflmao. everyone’s falling in llllooooooooooove. xD

it’s not funny! this is bad. DO YOU KNOW HOW AWKWARD IT IS TO WALK WITH A BFGF PAIR… 

ahahahaha you got owned. and don’t kill me for the indent thing. i have no idea how it works.

i really can’t wait to run. can not.

feedfuzzynow:

wtf is going on?!?! why does it seem like everyone around me is suddenly getting into relationships?!?!

roflmao. everyone’s falling in llllooooooooooove. xD

maybe i could take a message?

i’m feeling mentally displaced, and now even more so than usual.

so anyway everything in the following week has to be done in this order so that i get fucked the least amount possible, hopefully, if everything goes according to plan.

- whatever i need to know for CAs
- long overdue pi
- stuff for maths project
- research for gpp
- and every other homework i OWE.

i’m going to be in debt for months and the best part is..

my brain’s not here at the moment.

grah. head.

So i’m over here wasting my first morning as something not resembling a zombie wearing sji pe posting this because you know i’m so obliged to tell all my fans across the world what happened to me for the past six days…. blahblahblahbullshitfuck.

according to the doctor, i had influenza from sunday till like wed or something, then some asthmatic cough shit which is just very-bad-ass cough.

i’m now totally going to fail napha, unless my arms haven’t atrophied along with the rest of me, the odds of that being slightly less than negative infinity. omg fuck you functions. eeeeee. yes napha fail. 2.4 timing would be absoultely DISGUSTING.

and along with the CAs next week. wonderful. on the bright side, there’s now a reason to why i’m going to fail. and there’s also another reason why if i pass something, the whole world will hear about it.

blah blah blah okay i need to go salvage my academic life.

i’m prolly gonna miss sch tmrw also, due to the fact that my energy level is as high as the malfunctioning phone battery i once had.

so basically, the work that has piled up…

is like FUCK.

like h0lee mother chao turban chicken fried rice no chilli extra sauce knnccbbbq die.

i was already so behind in EVERYTHING, now it’ll just be… WORSE.

wahoo. fuuuuuuuuck.

on the bright side, i have already missed two long days :D

at this moment,
i’m not waiting for anything
because nothing’s in me expecting.
no matter what happens
or how bad the haze,
don’t deny me your gaze.

eeyur my brain is so screwy.

feedfuzzynow:

niceonela:

Aim

Project Work is a learning experience which aims to provide students with the opportunity to synthesise knowledge from various areas of learning, and critically and creatively apply it to real life situations. This process, which enhances students’ knowledge and enables them to acquire skills like collaboration, communication and independent learning, prepares them for lifelong learning and the challenges ahead. *FUCK THAT SHIT

Amen

amen.

i’m trying to formulate a lie that will twist very fabric of reality.

hope it works hope it works hope it works. according to my brain, it should la, but you know, fuck happens.

and i really don’t want to miss sending off myles for the second time :/

I DID CORE YSTD. the joel low version hahahahaha. pain like sheeeet. but still not really aching lmao. and i ran too fast ystd. ahh.

brooks ghost 2. can’t wait.

i shall attempt to do chem now.

okay i’m going to predict the future, if i continue doing things the way i am.

i will hardly do any homework at home, chemistry will soon be TWO topics behind time. my physics will mainly consist of copying and maths will most likely be averagely okay. gp will still be a joke and chinese will be a bigger one. i will barely pass most of my ca2s for basically all the subjects.

anyway… training will be kinda be a tricky balance because i will have slightly more sleep but with half of the books in the world breathing down my neck, it’ll be kinda disrupting. and knowing my current state of mind, i still wouldn’t be working hard enough.

so you see, most of this will come true. my absolutely arrogantly logical mind has thought it through. but like whathefuckineedtodosomething.

i need sleep, a ribena, more rain, more brains and new shoes.

i need a lot of things.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT THEY FINISHED FUNCTIONS BEFORE I UNDERSTOOD ANYTHING. THAT’S LIKE THE FUCKING THIRD TIME THEY FINISHED THE TOPIC BEFORE I UNDERSTOOD SHIT.

fmful.